I’ve been looking for THE SONG all day that would motivate my writing. and I’ve found it.
When talking to people about my life I often mention that I used to be really selfish. Well I’ll say Im not REALLY selfish anymore, just kinda selfish. But its not that I didn’t care about other people, I just cared about me a LOT more. *kanye shrug*
I am an only child and I heard my entire childhood and adolescence how thats the reason why I’m selfish, and how completely horrible it is. As a kid, I didn’t want to share my toys with my cousins–or if I did, it was only CERTAIN toys.
I was spoiled and had tons of toys, and it could be a game I hadn’t played with for months, but let so in so pick that one and NO! you can’t have that. one of the reasons I want to have more than one child–please, be better than me. be required to share on a regular basis, which I was not. I spent a lot of time alone, everything had a place and was readily available when I wanted it. I actually spend a lot of time alone now. hmmm.
But despite all of that, I had to learn to share. and I still don’t really like it, I mean like I said, I’ll do it, but certain things, no–you can’t drink up my Simply Apple juice if you stay at my house. I’m sorry, but that’s my shit and its not cheap. You CAN have some Tropicana though! let me stop- I dont’ even buy Tropicana any more, and THAT shit is OD expensive too. lol. why is juice like damn near 4 dollars? ugh. Funny thing is I want whatever it is YOU have, I want it and don’t want to be told no. lmao. SHARE WITH ME!!!I only do this with food, btw–but I told yall I’m greedy right?
I talk to or read about/watch talk shows about people who have let themselves go, don’t know how to care about themselves; saying they have always looked out for other people first, neglected themselves and I don’t get that. I mean, I GET IT, but its never been my reality. I love people, I care deeply. I’m a Libra, I thrive in relationships and enjoy a kinship with others. People I’m close to know that. Will I give you the shirt off my back? yes if I’m wearing a cami underneath or if not I’ll give you another shirt–I have sevaral. Call me what you want, but I’ll be warm, and you will be too.
Everytime you get on a plane and the flight attendant tells you in the event of an emergency, the air masks will drop, and you must SECURE YOUR MASK FIRST, before helping others. Whats the point trying to be captain super save a ho and you can’t breathe? there is NO point thats what. you aint saving nothing, chest all puffed out, outta breath, looking foolish.
ok, so anyway the song. Tamia’s “Me”. I loved Between Friends–totally slept on CD and I mentioned awhile back she was one of the folks I had been missing. Now my prayers have been answered with this super group with Tamia, Deborah Cox and Kelly Price? eh, not sure I’m buying it yet. I mean LSG were great solo but together they really didn’t do it. I mean I liked that song “My Body” and even had their cd– Columbia House baby! so we’ll have to see about that.
some lyrics for you:
And she told me to tell you to never to hurt me again
Cuz if you haven’t heard she’s a bad chick
Even though I haven’t been, no
Yet and still you try and test me by raisin’ an angry hand
Put it down, put it down
I’m leavin don’t try and stop me, (no)
I’m late and she is waiting, (yes)
My love for me is too much so I can’t stay
And her name is me,
And she loves me more than you’ll ever know
And I finally see that loving you and loving me
Just don’t seem to work at all
So patiently, she’s waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to choose, I choose me.
so, I understand I may be in the minority when it comes to self preservation, but its been a part of me since forever–but for others, there’s nothing wrong with being selfish, IMO. Care about YOU. love you, love others, but love yourself MORE. you aren’t any good to anybody else giving and giving and giving all of you away. you gotta keep a bit of you JUST FOR YOU. And if you’re like me, you keep a lot of things just for you–which may not be the best, but shit I’m happy. And I have a lot of love, amongst other things to share. 🙂 The song is talking about a romantic relationship, but I say in most cases in life–outside of your children, they matter more; I choose me first.