The Soundtrack of My Life

the music that keeps me going…

I pick my friends like I pick my fruit…

on January 19, 2011

My Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don’t go ’round trying to be what I’m not
I don’t waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin’ me cause I can’t please you
and that’s why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
doo wee doo wee do wee

“My soul flies free like a willow tree.” hmm. I’m working on that…

I heard this song riding on the train this AM and this particular verse stood out to me. Friends. I think this word is often misused and abused. And I say this as a person that has a lot of friends, and by a lot I mean, I can count them on more than one hand.

I consider a friend someone that I can share my life with–in good and bad times, someone that gives and gets advice, someone that I look up to, someone that inspires and encourages.

I used to think good friends were hard to come by, until I realized I had several. When you are a good person, you attract good people. I don’t talk to them all daily, or see them that often. Some I’ve never even seen in person (yes, I’ve made friends with people online–it took years of personal fellowship though). I didn’t used to think that was possible, but it absolutely is so. When you have something in common with someone and you share parts of your life with them and hold confidences, I consider that friendship. I don’t take any of it lightly. You get what you give.

Even saying that, I pick my friends like I pick my fruit: carefully, cautiously. Thoughtful of what I’m ingesting as nourishment. Ponder on that: thoughtful of what I’m ingesting as nourisment. Do you uplift me? Do I learn from you? Do you feel the same way about me? Some people have maintained friends simply because of time and history. As long as its not toxic, I can live with that, but there must be some new memories, some new lessons to keep the friendship afloat. Other people you outgrow with the seasons and I can live with that as well. No hard feelings, just moving along and moving on.

And if you don’t want to be down with me
You don’t want to pick from my appletree…

I think I’ve done a good job of maintaining my apple tree. At 29 years old, I know its not complete, some will rot and fall off, others will grow; but I’m good with where it is right now!

and just because, another song about friendship that I adore.

I actually blogged about this song in particular and briefly touched on friendship here.

What about you? Do you think you do a good job of maintaining friends? Making new ones? Any favorite song(s) about or that remind you of friendship?


14 responses to “I pick my friends like I pick my fruit…

  1. Cryssy says:

    Love this post… and I love you

  2. Niiiice post!

    I pick my friends by choosing people who have similar beliefs and values, but bring something to the table in terms of being different. We can’t all be the same and I like to learn from my friends…get different perspectives on life situations.

    As I grow in my spiritual walk and overall as a person, I know who my FRIENDS are and who my ASSOCIATES are. I know people who I enjoy their company whether it be for sporting events, dining etc…but that’s where the line is drawn. There’s something preventing a real friendship from budding, and that’s usually b/c our overall lifestyles aren’t aligned.

    I have dear friends who I don’t talk to everyday, but our bond is just that damn strong. Time and distance doesn’t have a negative impact on our friendship. E-friends aside, I only talk to one of my friends almost everyday and that’s my BFF.

  3. C_Ware says:

    I love this post, great references from both songs.

  4. @milesfan79 says:

    Good food for thought. Can’t help but notice your last few post have been really imparting very good wisdom! Not a bad thing, but just wanted to give you props;)

  5. Reecie says:

    @Cryssy you know I love you back!

    @Cware–hey girl! appreciate you stopping by!

    @Lala–exactly that spiritual discovery will help you differentiate the friends from associates quickly. I didn’t talk about associates at all in the post, but they serve their purpose in life as well. it is what it is.

    @milesfan thank you much! I guess I’m trying something different in 2011 😉

  6. I played this song until it skipped, and then went out and bought another CD-this is my “friendship song,” to say the least. On the subject – each connection has its season. I’ve moved every 3 years my entire life, and made valuable friends all over the world. There are blessings in those that continue and those that end. On maintaining friendships, it’s simple, exude the awesomeness you want in return…it has a lasting effect. ;o)

  7. Lamide says:

    This is such a great post! Every single thing you said…I co-sign the the highest degree, especially (I cut & spliced, sorry):

    “I used to think good friends were hard to come by, until I realized I had several. When you are a good person, you attract good people. I don’t talk to them all daily, or see them that often…I didn’t used to think that was possible, but it absolutely is so”

    I remember a long time ago blogging abt the fact that I didn’t know if “real” friends could be made after a certain age/time period in a person’s life. I’m glad I was proved wrong. It is such a blessing how, as we grow, we change the “rules” that define what a friend is “supposed to be”, to fit our own wants/needs.

    Now, something EYE gotta do is work more on pleasing ME. Ms. Badu knew what she was taum’ bout, for real.

  8. max says:

    I like this post Miss Reecie.
    I’ve always had a hard time with friendship; when I was younger I would put everything I had into them and inevitably end up disappointed. Now I have more of a “if you’re there you’re there” kind of mentality. For the most part I don’t really allow myself to get too attached to my friends because I have no expectation that they’ll be around for the long haul. Therefore I’m not careful at all about choosing my friends. If I click with someone I declare them my friend right away and then ride it til the wheels fall off.

    At this point, most of my best and most valuable friends are people I’ve met online. I think that for me I’m able to have a better or more meaningful connection with people when the partying and bullsh!t is taken out of the equation.

  9. Melody says:

    Great post!

    I’ve always been very careful about who I considered a friend. I’m naturally suspicious of people (I get it from my Pops) so there are very few people I let get really close to me. I can say that I certainly pick ’em like I pick my fruit–if I don’t see anything good, I’ll leave the store without them. No getting just to say I got ’em.

    As for friendship songs, I like Donnie’s “You Got a Friend.”

  10. streetztalk says:

    great post! feel the same way bout my homies!

  11. dmitchell02 says:

    Good post Reecie…I think you hit the mindframe of a lot of your readers on this one.

  12. tisha says:

    Good post, sissy! 🙂 Melody, I love that Donnie song, too!

  13. anson1 says:

    Good post, Reecie! I’m used to people dropping in & out of my life so I don’t get too attached to people like that to call them friends. Maybe its because other than my family, there’s never been any one constant in my life. And everyone else is just that, everyone else. So if someone else wats to call me a friend of theirs, fine. Just don’t look for me to do it. If I love you & care about you, then that’s what it is & will be.

  14. MilanRouge says:

    Absolutely agree wholeheartedly! I have some amazing friends. And I pick them with caution and maintain them with love and respect. And like you…some of my amazing friends/sisters I have never laid physical eyes on. When I reflect on that…it makes me thankful to God. Because I don’t consider those friendships any less than the ones I have with people I see all the time. Just different but equally a blessing. Great post.

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