The Soundtrack of My Life

the music that keeps me going…

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Happy New Year!

I try to write a new year reflective post every year to post on January 1 since I actually started this blog on New Year’s Day 2009. But dah well, didn’t happen.

I actually wasn’t sure when I was going to blog again because I really had no desire to at all.  Today’s song brought me out of my hiatus I suppose.

I declared 2011 the “year of friendships” and I successfully actualized that goal. Last year I spent time nurturing and loving those close to me, and I will continue that in 2012. It wasn’t the easiest year emotionally: I spent more time than necessary doubting myself, confused about the actions of others, and just all around a bit more unsure than I had been in my personal life in a long time. DESPITE all of that, I had some REALLY good times. I finally found my footing in a new city, and had one hell of a summer. I turned 30 years old, which ushered in the fall season in style as I celebrated with loved ones and have memories that will last a lifetime.

The last month of 2011 was probably the hardest of all, as I lost a very close friend of mine to complications from Sickle Cell. I had never lost a close friend before and its still very hard for me to accept at times, but we said our final farewell,  in this lifetime last Wednesday.

My heart is still heavy, but my spirit is no longer unsure. She is Home, she is no longer in pain, and knowing that makes me smile. And even through the tears, I DO SMILE.

While doing my morning rituals this morning, I happened upon the Steve Harvey Morning Show, and as soon as I heard the horns come in on this song, my eyes filled with tears. This was OUR song, one in particular I avoided listening to since I first heard my Cryssy left this earth. I wanted to share it with you all today because despite how it makes me miss her so, it is an excellent song. It is a song I have always loved. At first it reminded me of my childhood, but from now on it will remind me of her.

She and I bonded in many ways, but one way in particular was through music. She also was a regular reader and commenter of my blog. Today’s post, and song is for Cryssy. in 2011 we spent lots of time together, and I’m grateful for those experiences, those moments. The last was at her 32nd birthday party. I let her know how much she means to me, and for that I have no regrets.  This extended version (our favorite) is just for you.

I may be just a foolish dreamer
But I don't care
'Cause I know my happiness is waiting out there somewhere
I'm searching for that silver lining
Horizons that I've never seen
Oh I'd like to take just a moment and dream my dream
Dream my dream... 
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I'd like to fly far away from here
Where my mind is fresh and clear
And I'd find the love that I long to see
Where everybody can be what they wanna be
I'd like the greet the sun each morning
And walk amongst the stars at night
I'd like to know the taste of honey in my life
Well I've shared so many pains
And I've played so many games
But everyone finds the right way
Somehow
Somewhere
Someday...
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Let the madness in the music get to you…

Life ain’t so bad at all
If you live it off the wall…

I woke up this morning with this song in my head. I knew it was going to be a good day.

This has become a personal theme song in recent years. Well maybe the last year. I spent a lot of time being focused on my career and my path forward–which led to my relocation and while getting up on the learning curve, I found myself a tad bit stressed. I realized that for my well being when I leave work, I need to LEAVE work. I absolutely “leave that 9 to 5 up on the shelf”

And its the weekend approaching, so I figured this would be a good day to post some good ol MJ–to me he is the king of “enjoying yourself.” His music puts me in a mood and a place that makes me want to dance. The title of this post definitely is how I view my life. I let the madness in the music transform me. I allow it to make me laugh, make me think, and even cry.

I know I hadn’t blogged in over a month, and the last post was a Freaky Friday one. Those come to me easily, I have tons of songs stored up, but I wanted to come back with something different. The fact that this song popped in my head gave me the inspiration I needed.

Late last year I declared 2011 to be the year of friendships for me. I had spent a lot of time nurturing romantic relationships–so I thought and the after effects of such. I decided that instead of focusing on what no longer was, I would begin and continue to take more considerate care of what I have. So that was the underlying theme in my mind, but I kinda forgot all about that.  Well, I recently went on a retreat of sorts that rejuvenated the kinships with my sisters and I feel that almost 6 months into this year, its been a very good one. I subconsciously have maintained my purpose of the year, and am looking forward to the months remaining. We only have one life; be thoughtful in your actions and savor moments. This has been an amazing and transforming time in my life. I am so blessed. Just felt like sharing. MJ says…

You can shout out all you want to
‘Cause there ain’t no sin in folks all getting loud
If you take the chance and do it
Then there ain’t no one who’s gonna put you down
‘Cause we’re the party people night and day
Livin’ crazy that’s the only way…

So tonight gotta leave that nine to five up on the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
C’mon and groove, and let the madness in the music get to you
Life ain’t so bad at all
If you live it off the wall

And so does Reecie. have a good weekend. 🙂

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I pick my friends like I pick my fruit…

My Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don’t go ’round trying to be what I’m not
I don’t waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin’ me cause I can’t please you
and that’s why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
doo wee doo wee do wee

“My soul flies free like a willow tree.” hmm. I’m working on that…

I heard this song riding on the train this AM and this particular verse stood out to me. Friends. I think this word is often misused and abused. And I say this as a person that has a lot of friends, and by a lot I mean, I can count them on more than one hand.

I consider a friend someone that I can share my life with–in good and bad times, someone that gives and gets advice, someone that I look up to, someone that inspires and encourages.

I used to think good friends were hard to come by, until I realized I had several. When you are a good person, you attract good people. I don’t talk to them all daily, or see them that often. Some I’ve never even seen in person (yes, I’ve made friends with people online–it took years of personal fellowship though). I didn’t used to think that was possible, but it absolutely is so. When you have something in common with someone and you share parts of your life with them and hold confidences, I consider that friendship. I don’t take any of it lightly. You get what you give.

Even saying that, I pick my friends like I pick my fruit: carefully, cautiously. Thoughtful of what I’m ingesting as nourishment. Ponder on that: thoughtful of what I’m ingesting as nourisment. Do you uplift me? Do I learn from you? Do you feel the same way about me? Some people have maintained friends simply because of time and history. As long as its not toxic, I can live with that, but there must be some new memories, some new lessons to keep the friendship afloat. Other people you outgrow with the seasons and I can live with that as well. No hard feelings, just moving along and moving on.

And if you don’t want to be down with me
You don’t want to pick from my appletree…

I think I’ve done a good job of maintaining my apple tree. At 29 years old, I know its not complete, some will rot and fall off, others will grow; but I’m good with where it is right now!

and just because, another song about friendship that I adore.

I actually blogged about this song in particular and briefly touched on friendship here.

What about you? Do you think you do a good job of maintaining friends? Making new ones? Any favorite song(s) about or that remind you of friendship?

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Don’t know what I’d do without you…

“Friends are the family that you choose”-UNKNOWN

I’ve always liked this quote. I know some folks that say their siblings are their best friends and I’ve always admired that. I think its great to grow up with someone and actually get along! I know more folks that love their siblings, but don’t really LIKE em that much, or just don’t see it in a friendship kinda way: its family, so its more, but its different. For those of you with siblings I don’t know which side you fall, on, but regardless, we all have something in common: friends. our chosen family. this song is for them.

I don’t know what I’d ever do without you
From the beginning to the end
You’ve always been here by my side
So I’ll call you my best friend
Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or if I win
I know one thing that never changes and
That’s you as my best friend

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